Mrs. H

Baby Proofing for Baby #2

When you have your second child, everyone can tell you that life is about to get interesting, but nothing really can prepare you for just HOW VERY interesting life is gonna get. Especially when that second one is a boy who is into EVERYTHING. (And is a very special but large part of why I haven’t had much time to blog lately…)

So when we had Becca it was easy to childproof – because we over did it, really. Ya know, it’s first child syndrome – everything was super super safe. But we also didn’t have a whole lot of tiny little toys everywhere. We had age appropriate toys because, well, she was it. But now that she has tons of little tiny toys, and puzzles, and paper back books, and, and, and, and… little Brother is coming along and crawling and pulling and opening and pushing and dropping and EATING everything… Whew. Let me tell ya’ll… it’s really fun in our house. (Not to mention all the fights that are caused when Baby Bee grabs something that belongs to Big Butterfly….) So baby proofing took on whole new meaning. I thought I’d write a post to help those with second babies not yet crawling to give you some ideas of how to prepare for what is to come.

1. Plan a place for special toys.
We had Becca’s art cart and activities for downstairs on shelves in the dining room… quick and easy access, and a great place for her to use them while I’m cooking dinner… but also right where Brother could get to them and mess them up, or worse yet, get hurt by them. So this was probably the biggest baby proofing we’ve had to do. I had to clean out and move stuff to the attic from our under-stairs closet so create room for a set of shelves I got at Target, and for her art cart. That has become a FABULOUS storage area for her special things – that she can easily access, but he can’t because there’s a closed door in his way. Even if you don’t have a closet you can use, if you have a cabinet you can put a child lock on, that’s better than nothing. I just love having them in the closet because she can easily help herself – just like she’s been used to doing. Obviously, you’ll have to make use of whatever space you have.

2. Give your Big Butterfly a safe space.
When he was younger, we would often carry Gray into Boo’s room for visits, and she loved that. But as soon as he started crawling around, we started having issues. She has toys that are not only unsafe for his little mouth, but are more “sacred” that are in her room. So we have chosen to instate her room as her safe space. Brother isn’t welcome until he stops putting things in his mouth. I’ve made it very clear to her that this is not a permanent arrangement – he WILL be welcome in her room down the road, but rather than feeling we need to childproof her room to protect her toys from going in his mouth, he’s just not coming into her room right now. She likes knowing that her special things are safe and aren’t going to get chewed up. She really appreciates that, and it also helps when I see her playing in his room and abusing one of his toys or using it inappropriately – I remind her to take care of his things or she won’t be allowed to play with them. Touché.

3. Find some products that make your home safer. (Each of these includes affiliate links, thank you!)

We have this baby gate and love that we can move it and have two different locations where we use it. It is high quality, and has worked well for us since Becca was little. It also works to keep our dogs confined to a space as well. Dreambaby Retractable Gate

These sliding locks work great to keep our side-by-side refrigerator doors closed, and also to keep the closet doors closed. Dreambaby Sliding Locks, 3 Pack

These latches are super easy to add to cabinet doors and drawers – we have them all over our kitchen, and like that they are hidden from view, and easy for any adult to open. Safety 1st 14 Pack Wide Grip Latches

These plug protectors are easier to use than some of the others – just press the button and they’ll come out… but kids can’t get them out, they really do lock in securely. Safety 1st 24 Pack Secure Press Plug Protectors

What’s your favorite child proofing tip? Do you have more than two kids? What did you learn about baby proofing for boys vs for girls? PLEASE SHARE in the comments!!!

I’ll be back!

Whew. Life is more than a little crazy around here lately! I just haven’t had a spare moment to type up all the wonderful things going on! Don’t worry. I’ll be back. It’ll just be a few days before I get a chance to sit down and write!

Making Music At Home

Special thanks to Jennifer Hayenga for sharing today’s From the Heart segment. She’s very passionate about sharing music with her kiddos, and I sure appreciate her sharing some of the songs that they enjoy in their home, and what her kids have been able to learn by participating in music education – both at home and in class! Jennifer’s family lives in the Dallas, TX area. You’ll learn more about her in her post. Here’s Jenn:

One of the subjects across the board that I see overlooked is music education and the mentioning of children’s music CD’s or songs that parents are sharing with their children. As a gifted educator in science, MS in curriculum, Mom of twins, I see that many skill sets are often introduced to children but few are truly developed. Most parents tend to gravitate towards sampling, allowing the child to decide, since there are so many choices out there.

Music education for children doesn’t necessarily mean playing an instrument or being able to correctly identify one when asked. It is about making neuro-connections with your child’s brain and stimulating the receptive and expressive systems. The receptive system primarily impacts music aptitude which continues to develop until approximately 9 years of age. During this time, music ability increases or decreases from the lack of quality stimulation which is when a child’s singing voice is also developing. From birth through age five, the brain is much more active than later on, making this a crucial time for “laying down the foundation” and “building the connections” that will last a lifetime. In addition, children also build vocabulary through music and learn how to pronounce words correctly which is why an early start is beneficial to proper language development.

Not all children need to be enrolled in a music class for this type of learning to be achieved. Parents can implement these kinds of activities at home teaching their children about macro and micro beats, vocal play, verse variation, fingerplays and more.

Some of my favorite songs are:

“Me, You, and We” by K. Guilmartin

“I Had a Little Frog” by Mary Anne Hrin

“My Ball” by L. Levinowitz

“Apples and Cherries” by K. Guilmartin

“Great Big Stars” (credit unknown)

“Between” by Wayne Brady

“Buzz Buzz “by Laurie Berkner

Laurie Berkner has wonderful children’s music and her CD’s can be checked out from the library for FREE. Another favorite one of ours is Road Trip Sing-Alongs which is a 3 CD set playing familiar songs from your childhood. My twins still love them today. We also play our music at home, in the car and do fingerplays and activities together. My children have just turned 2 and have been singing verses to songs since they were a year and have been doing fingerplays since that time. It has been amazing to watch their vocabulary and understanding of words grow. They learned their pronouns at age 1, opposites such as (Big-Little, Short-Tall, Up-Down, In-Out, On-Off, full-empty, Open-Close, Stop-Go, Push-Pull) and many others all because of MUSIC that I played and sang with them in our home and not from a paid music class! If you have any favorite songs or music, please share. We would love to hear what your kids love.

I am including a few pics from our music class session so you can see some of the things occurring in class and how the parents are participating.

I have cropped other children out of Jenn’s pictures since we don’t have their parent’s approval to post their photographs on the internet. You can see her two sweethearts participating in a drum class with their teacher.

Another great music/tech/language connection Becca enjoys are the Signing Time dvds as well as Rachel and the Treeschoolers dvds – which we find at our library. Rachel Coleman teaches kids through songs how to use sign language to communicate in Signing Time, and in Rachel and the Treeschoolers, they not only learn signs, but also a lot of basic preschool concepts as well – our favorite is the weather dvd. I love how she encourages the Treeschoolers to not be afraid of a thunderstorm!!

Our favorite cd to listen to in the car is by the Justin Graves Band and is children’s worship music – we have their Happy to Be Me Cd!

Mini Engineering Challenges

Here we are, once again, on the 2nd Thursday of the month! I’m not quite sure where March went, to be perfectly honest with you! But, we did some awesomely fun mini engineering challenges in March… so here are some new ideas for you to try with your little engineers!

We love our Bristle Blocks! If you don’t have a set of these, you can definitely purchase them on Amazon here (Battat Bristle Blocks Basic 112 Piece Set Building Kit – affiliate link, thank you!). Bristle blocks are fabulous for so many reasons, but Becca really enjoys the way they feel – as a sensory seeker, she will sit and rub these blocks while she’s thinking about where to put them. They just feel really neat in her hands. Many times, I just let her build whatever, but sometimes I’ll say “see if you can build a ______” and give her an idea. It is fabulous to let your little engineer free play with blocks and building materials, but it’s also a wonderful idea to give her a specific task to focus on – it puts her brain into the mode of needing to solve a problem, and figure out how to best complete the task at hand. So next time you get out the bristle blocks, try some of these fun things as building challenges:

boat
car
house
rocket
dinosaur
school

Becca loves to build cities. Who knows, maybe someday she’ll be a civil engineer and work for some large city, or be an architect who designs skyscrapers. I love that the sky is the limit for her. And all of the activities we do encourage her to grow and play in new and different ways. She loves the wooden blocks that my dad made for me when I was a kid, and she plays with them frequently. (If you see the apples on some of them and wonder about that, check out this post from last fall about our Ten Apples Up on Top activity – she still enjoys doing that, and anytime I mention taking the apples off, she gets very defensive of the apples! HA!) But anyway, if your kids don’t have a wonderful set of wooden blocks, there are some fabulous ones available on Amazon – try this set: Melissa & Doug 60-Piece Standard Unit Blocks. (aff link, thank you!)

So when your kiddos are building with their wooden blocks, free, imaginative play is awesome, but you can also take it to a different level by creating a challenge for them – see if they can create a variety of structures. Becca loves to build towers with her blocks, so I asked her one day, “well, how about if you build a city this time?” (She typically builds cities only with her Duplos.) She had so much fun creating roads and buildings and even decided where each person in our family would live and work, where the park and school and church were located… she really got detailed with it! I would definitely encourage you to play blocks with your kids and challenge them to build a city! See what fabulous ideas they come up with!

Becca loves straws. She’s fascinated with them – not only in their function, but also in the various ways she can play with them. The other day, she decided on her own that we could “probly” make a rainbow with them, but informed me “I’m gonna need some major help.” So I obliged, gladly! She knew the rainbow started with red on top, so we found all the red straws and laid them out, then we talked about each color and figured out how to place them inside of each other. When she was done, she declared “George is the treasure under the rainbow!” and proudly placed him underneath. That made me smile so big. This girl has a heart of gold. And she really does cherish her little friend.

Encourage your little engineer to play with straws. Remember that building doesn’t always involve making a 3d structure – but also can be a fabulous 2d construction as well. We’ve made several other straw pictures since then – we’ve built a house, a pirate ship, a dinosaur, some clouds, and an airplane. I love how so many of the STEAM subject matters overlap each other! This project is clearly engineering AND art… as is our next idea!

I’ve mentioned previously how much Becca LOVES the Amazon show, Creative Galaxy. She watches it on her Kindle regularly. She has seen each of the 9 episodes at least 9 times, if not 20. In one of the shows between the shows (where real kids make art), they use recycled materials to build items. One of the ideas they mention but don’t build is a fire truck. So, Becca got it in her head that she wanted to build a fire truck! She told me the materials she wanted to use to make it, and I obliged. I held the hot glue gun, but she placed each item where she wanted it, and did the art work to draw the windows and headlights. She even determined she wanted the ladder to stick up like it was going up to a house to help someone. So, we figured out how to do the glue so that it would dry sticking up into the air.

I loved so much that she came up with this project on her own, and that I took the time to make it possible for her. So many times it’s easy for us to hear an idea that our kids have and say there isn’t time, or we don’t have the supplies. But this was a project that really benefited us both – I was amazed to see what she is capable of and how her brain works, and she was given a confidence boost because Mommy believed in her idea and helped her make it a reality!

What we used: an old puffs container, fruit pouch lids, straws, hot glue, Sharpee marker, scissors (she cut the straws into pieces – fabulous fine motor practice!)

I’d love to see your kids make items from recycled materials! Please share your finished engineering feats on my Facebook page anytime and label them #engineeringrocks!

Looking for more engineering ideas for your kids? Each month on the 2nd Thursday I post Mini Engineering Challenges! Check out my Engineering page for links to my previous months, and visit next month for more new ideas including a Lego game your family is gonna love!

Hang in There, Mommy

Being a mom is challenging. Being a mom to more than one child is more of a challenge. But if you’re living life with an autoimmune disease, being a mom is a blessing and can also be a curse. Wikipedia has some great (research backed) information about autoimmune diseases, which are interestingly among the top ten leading causes of death in women under age 65. There are over 80 different kinds of autoimmune diseases, with varying results for the body.

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. But in the process of getting that diagnosis, I heard several doctors mention several different possibilities – most that were far worse in their long-term affect on the body. Since receiving my diagnosis, I have met three moms in particular that live with a couple of those other options that I didn’t end up having, but heard in the diagnosis process. All three of them had some things in common that I strive to live out in my daily life. I’m going to share them with you here so that if you are a mom who has recently been diagnosed and are learning to live again, or if you’ve been living with a diagnosis and you’ve recently become a mom, you can hopefully gain some knowledge from the experience that each of us has to share.

(Props to Chelle, Haley, and Heather right now – and thank you each for how much you taught me… without even knowing it!)

Be Real.

Your kids need to know that sometimes Mommy just hurts. (Note: Monitor how much you complain – you don’t want your child to become a chronic pain complainer… esp if your autoimmune disease is one that can be hereditary – you need to know if your child really is experiencing pain.) But don’t hesitate to explain why we can’t do something right now. Tell them how you feel. Don’t just say “I can’t carry you right now.” Tell them that when you’re in a flair, it’s very painful to take each step, and you need to make sure to not put any extra weight on your feet today. Suggest another activity instead. If you think your child is just craving your attention, suggest to snuggle together with some books on the couch, or watch their favorite tv show with them, etc.

Explain so they don’t complain.

If you’ve got a doctor or physical therapy appointment and the kids have to go too, explain what the doctor is going to do for you today. “Because Mommy has this disease, it means that Mommy needs to visit xyz clinic to get help to feel better and be a stronger Mommy. (i.e.: I’m a better Mommy for you when I feel good and confident with my body and its abilities.) It’s important that you help me through this appointment to help me be a better Mommy. My body wants to be able to help you, but I need to get some help from xyz doctor in order for that to happen.” Doing this doesn’t mean they won’t complain. Because they are kids. But if you are working to instill a caring heart, understanding will come soon enough, and with it, more patience on their part. (Still bring along your entire bag of tricks to keep them occupied – they are, after all, human children!)

Use every moment as a teaching moment.

I’ve heard Haley talk about how she has had to train her children to freeze and listen to her voice – life in a wheelchair with MS restricts her abilities to run after a child who might run into the street, etc. But isn’t that a positive thing? They have learned from an early age the importance of listening.

Chelle showed her son her X-rays when her leg broke due to a fall caused by her Lupus, and he began to take interest in the human body in a whole new way because it was no longer just in books and online – he could truly see inside his Mommy’s leg… and right there in Kindergarten he began to declare he was going to be a doctor. Time will tell if he decides to follow that dream, but either way, she took advantage of that teaching moment.

Don’t wallow. Let your kids live.

It’s SO easy to want to sit on the couch and just feel sorry for yourself. But something Heather told me when in the middle of her treatments, blood transfusions, surgery to insert a port, and just general illness that comes with her Limes disease has stuck with me. Her parents-in-law were paying for the whole family to go to Disney World. And I was basically in shock that they were going. I mean, seriously, they could have just backed out gracefully and everyone would have understood. But Heather told me when I asked “so why are you going?”… “Because I want my kids to live. Their lives don’t revolve around my pain.” Wow. That is something that I strive to remember every day. She had to hang out at the hotel often, or find a place to sit down frequently, but her kids got to enjoy time with their beloved cousins and spend time at Disney World because she was willing to not wallow in her own pain and discomfort so they could live a little.

Cherish the good days.

One of the real curses of Rheumatoid Arthritis is that it comes and goes. You can be fine and perfectly normal for several months, and then one really good storm front can set you off on a flair that lasts for days or even weeks. Or an illness can. Or a change in estrogen levels can. Many autoimmune diseases are similar in this. It’s easy to get lulled to sleep until all of a sudden your disease flairs up and reminds you just how weak you are. So cherish the good days. When you feel great, REALIZE it! And appreciate it. Celebrate life just by being active when you can be! Run and play with your kids outside. Roll in the grass. Pack a picnic and go to the park to sit on a blanket with your legs crossed. And help them to realize to cherish it as well – verbalize how good you feel today and what a blessing it is that you aren’t in pain right now so you can easily do all these fun things.

Learn to let go.

You aren’t in control. And this is never more clear than in the middle of an autoimmune crisis. Autoimmune diseases are not given to the faint of heart – God certainly provides the strength necessary to conquer every day. But He can also use them to make a totally self-reliant person let go… give in… and accept help. Whether someone offers to bring a meal to your family, or offers to keep your kids during a dr. appointment, DO NOT EVER SAY NO. Learn to let go of the control that you feel you need to have over your life and your circumstances. God provides people to help you get through the tough times – ACCEPT THEIR HELP WITH GRATITUDE!

Look for the JOY!

One of the songs on a kids worship cd that I recently purchased for Becca is called “I Choose Joy.” And in that song, Justin Graves so aptly sings “I choose joy – in the good times and the bad. I choose joy – when I’m happy or I’m sad. Joy is not a feeling, it’s living your life glad. I choose J-O-Y, I choose joy.” Mama, let me tell you how very hard it is to choose joy. But choosing joy is looking for the little tiny moments. On a day when you are overwhelmed with pain and you’ve had to walk the entire grocery store with two kids and a full cart, it’s hard to choose joy. It really is. And in those moments, I pray that God will send you a friend like my friend Naomi, who will randomly send you a couple pictures of her kids playing outside and tell you that she has found peace, and encourage you to find it as well. Because in that moment when I received that message last week, God hit my heart with an arrow, and a few minutes later that arrow had sent it’s love all through my whole being. I looked down at Becca as we created an awesome train track, and my voice caught in my throat. I realized how blessed I am. I found my peace. I found my joy. Right there in that moment with her. Always look for the joy. Always choose joy.

Don’t forget to LAUGH in the sunshine!

It goes right along with finding joy, and choosing joy… but truly, laughter is the best medicine, and more people are Vitamin D deficient than any other vitamin. Whether you are in a wheelchair, have hypersensitive skin that can burn easily, have chronic asthma and horrible allergies, NO MATTER WHAT plagues you daily, GET OUTSIDE and LAUGH in the SUNSHINE! Your kids need to see you having fun. Chelle often talked about (away from Tyler’s presence) how hard it was to be there for his soccer games, but how she would never want to be anywhere else. She had to wear a large hat and super strong sunscreen, but she was there. She wanted him to know how much she loved him and supported him, and she said she loved the moments between games when he would come to her lawn chair and excitedly tell her “did you see ___?” and “I did ____!” She said that she loved laughing with him, and seeing him laughing with his friends. Even when she had her broken leg, she was there for his games – rain or shine. She always said they had such awesome bonding moments outside together.

And last, but not least…

Be honest with your spouse and ask for help.

There will be times when you want to hide your pain. There are times that I hide mine. I don’t want him to think I’m whining and complaining all the time. But you need to be honest with him. You need to tell him when you are having severe pain, and you need to ask him to help with things that you know you just absolutely can’t do right now. It is hard to give up and give in, but remember that when it comes to your health, and the health of your marriage, it’s important to keep honesty central in your relationship. God has given you this man as a helpmate for a reason, and don’t ever forget to be honest with him. Keep this in mind – if you aren’t telling him what’s going on, he can’t read your mind, but he can read your body language… and he might read it all wrong and think something far deeper is going on when really it’s just surface pain and you not being willing to ask for help with household chores. If you are overwhelmed and you need some time away from the kids, TELL HIM THAT! The rest is up to him. And hopefully he will support you and provide that time that you need. I have learned from Haley that it’s important to tell Cody when I need a break – just like she talks to her hubby and tells him when she needs time away. And it’s amazing how much better I feel and how much stronger our family is when I’ve had a little time away by myself!

So if you are struggling with an autoimmune disease and trying to figure out how to juggle that and a family, hang in there. And know that you aren’t alone. Build up a support system around yourself of other moms who have autoimmune diseases so that you have someone to contact on a bad day who truly understands, and also, build up a support system around yourself of folks who can help you when you need help. Remember that there’s always a Mommy who is hurting worse than you are today. Pray for her. Even if you don’t know her. And hang in there, Mommy. You can do this. You are stronger than you think.

Joshua 1:9:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”