Ramblings – Page 12 – Butterbees and Bumbleflies

Being Specifically Thankful

This week, I’ve wanted Becca to extend her prayers to God by praying with a purpose. That’s hard when you’re two… And especially hard when you like to tell stories in the middle of your prayer regularly. I often imagine God during prayer time- He clears the room by simply saying “Becca’s about to start.” And then she starts and as she prays, His smile gets wider and wider, as she begins to tell Him ALL about some specific part of her day that is stuck in her mind. I can even hear Him chuckle sometimes when she says “It’s MY turn, Mommy!” She’s always so eager to pray and SHE wants to do the talking. She does love speaking to our Father.

So night before last, she wasn’t “allowed” to say thank you for anything but people. I had her name out all the people she could think of to say thank you for. Mainly she named family members, and her best friend. Last night, it was stuff. She could say thank you for any thing she thought of… And pretty much just named stuff that was within sight. Tonight, we’ll work to name more “obscure” people- and only name people- again focusing our prayers on the fact that God didn’t just put “stuff” in our life, but gave us meaningful relationships for which we should be thankful. Fittingly, tomorrow night after having opened her first round of Christmas gifts for the year, she will focus again on saying thank you for “stuff.”

I think with many of us, it’s easy to say “thank you” to others and to God when they give us stuff… But how often do we tell a person “I’m so thankful for YOU.” ?!? Focus this week of Thanksgiving on being thankful not only for all the “stuff” He has given you, but for the PEOPLE He has placed along your path, as well.

And now, because it IS Wednesday, after all, here’s a couple of cute little things Becca has said this week:

-“Oh, that’s just perfect!”

-“Oh, how wonderful!”

-“Mommy, why is that man (in the hotel lobby) yelling at the tv?” Not really the time, place, or age to explain all that is going on in Ferguson… Me: “Well, Baby, what do you think?” Becca: “I think he’s mad at that man who they keep showing his picture.” Me: “I think maybe so.” Becca: “But why, Mommy? Did that man do something bad?” Me: “Well, Baby, it’s complicated and I don’t know all the details because I wasn’t there to witness it, and I’m glad.” Becca: “I’m glad too. I don’t want him mad at you.” Me: “Me neither, Sweetheart.” Becca: “I don’t think we need that breakfast. (Implying the area of the breakfast bar where the man was standing.) Let’s get THIS breakfast!” Smart girl.

-“I’m gonna see Granny and PawPaw and give them big ole hugs!!”

People, Get Ready

Well, here we are. The countdown to Thanksgiving has begun. The turkeys have been flying off the shelves (though thankfully not literally) the past few days, and will continue to do so in preparation for the big day. Kids are off school, or will be soon, and fall is here – even in South Texas. Yesterday when we ran a couple errands, Becca was in awe of the yellow and orange and brown leaves that have suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Fall is no longer just on a television show. It’s real. And after watching “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” with her, I’m reminded to make sure she realizes that Thanksgiving is real, too – and it’s not just a meal around a table with family we haven’t seen in a long time. And it’s not about the Christmas presents she’ll get to open with my family on the very same day.

Thanksgiving is an attitude. It’s real. It’s tangible. It’s something we should be doing every day. But somehow, for many of us, it gets secluded to a single day in November that is overrun by Christmas preparations and shopping. We’re so busy getting ready for Christmas (starting in October!) that Thanksgiving gets shoved further and further to the back burner.

I know all about back burners. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that right now, for me, blogging is on the back burner. Because so many other things are about to boil over… so I gotta have something on “simmer” in the back. I love blogging. And I’m hoping for lots more time for it soon. (I won’t be quitting, don’t worry.) But seriously… it seems like Thanksgiving is stuck somewhere in a little simmering saucepan with Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day. They used to be big… and then over time, it’s enough to be patriotic on 4th of July, and to say “thanks” to God for His blessings half-heartedly before dinner each night (if then).

It’s time to get ready, folks. To get ready for our world of the future… If we spend so much time getting ready for Christmas presents that will spoil our already spoiled children that we forget about the importance of a day to stop and thank God for the freedoms we have in this country, and for the fact that some crazy hard-headed people left tyranny behind to start a new life in a new “world,” we’re going to find a generation of children who are so focused on themselves that they don’t even know what being thankful is.

So how do you not lose Thanksgiving in the shuffle? How do you not lose your kids to the commercial idea of decoration and sparkle and packages full of fun things? I don’t have it all figured out. I really don’t. But I think it begins in our own hearts. I think we have to get ready to be real with our kids. To tell them what things WE are thankful for – every day. And to show them that it’s not just STUFF we are thankful for, but PEOPLE and IDEAS (insert your lesson about the pilgrims and American freedom here) that are top on our lists.

I’m all about Christmas. Heck, I worked super super hard to try and get our advent calendar finished this weekend so that I could post it here early for you. Ya know what, it’s not gonna happen. It’s gonna be fabulous when it’s done, and yes, I’ll share, but right now, this week, the focus is gonna be on Thanksgiving. Because it’s time to start getting ready. And this week despite all of it’s craziness, is gonna be all about being thankful – and then carrying that attitude beyond this week so that by the time a month from now rolls around (seriously, ya’ll… today is a month til Christmas Eve!), all that stuff under the tree won’t just be boxes and paper to rip into, but there will be a realization that inside each box is a specially selected gift that the giver has spent money and time and thought on purchasing. No, I don’t expect my two year old to say “thank you” to each giver after she opens a present. Not all on her own. But I will remind her to say thank you for all of her presents after opening. And we will write thank you notes. And I will remind her as she plays with things, who got them for her.

Because I’m getting her ready. Preparing this little girl for the big wide world that is SO much bigger than lil old her. The world doesn’t revolve around her – it has many, many gears that all intertwine together. She needs to begin to realize that she is just one of them – and that God has placed her where He has placed her for a reason – to impact the lives of many people. NOT to focus on herself and what she wants and what she thinks she needs.

How will you get ready THIS WEEK to start building thoughtful, thankful children? And how will you carry that thoughtfulness and that thankfulness through the Christmas season?

No Apologies Necessary

We as moms beat ourselves up. A lot.

I recently read a really well-written blog post from someone (who will remain nameless) who was apologizing to her second child for all of what she felt were injustices being done to him because he was the second child. We often hear the jokes about how the first child gets the expensive diapers and the second gets “Luvs,” etc. I totally understand where this comes from. It’s called “Mommy guilt.” And it’s real.

However – I have decided to look at things differently. I was an only child. So perhaps I’m naive. Perhaps I’m clueless. Perhaps, I’m even stupid. But I don’t think so. Here’s how I see it:

Sweet Baby Grayson and Precious Big Sister Becca,
I love you both SO MUCH. Words cannot express how very much I love both of you – uniquely and deeply. You have both been loved since before you were conceived, and will continue to have 150% of my heart to claim as your own. I could never more fully love EACH of you, and your Daddy. It’s amazing how God creates room in the human heart so that more love is always abundant and free to give.

You each have your own special personalities and interests, and I love that about you. I’m sure as you grow, more things will develop. I love how independent each of you are becoming – one because it’s in your nature, and one because it’s part of your nuture. You are each learning patience and discovering that I am only one person. Sometimes you each need to take a turn waiting, and you are both learning and growing in that area. I love how snuggly you both are – one because it’s in your nature, and one because you’re learning by observation what snuggles are all about, and you want in on the “goods.” It’s so wonderful what you are already learning from each other. I love how already you are beginning to play together – as big sister brings toys, and baby brother learns, observes and explores.

I will not be the perfect mother. There will be times when you will live in filth. There will be times when I will force you to help clean the filth you have made, and you might not like me very much. There will be days when the food you eat will not be of the highest caliber. There will be days when I will make food and force you to eat it. There will be days when I am stressed to the max and I might express my frustration in ways that folks (myself included!) would say are inappropriate. And there will be days when you are stressed to the max, and you will express frustration in ways that drive me to the edge of a cliff. But for all of these things, I do not apologize.

WHAT? I don’t apologize? Oh, there will be times when I will say I’m sorry, because it will be necessary – I’m FAR from perfect. But I DO NOT apologize for your birth order. I DO NOT apologize that I am human. I DO NOT apologize for how your father and I have chosen to parent you. I DO NOT. WHY?

Because God gave us you. Both of you. In HIS time. And He is guiding and directing our footsteps, as well as yours. He is growing and stretching each of us into the people He wants us to be. So on the days that regret might begin to seep in because I don’t have as much time with just one of you, and on the days that I might be tempted to apologize because one of you has to (cry and) wait while the other gets served first, I will remember that. And I will be grateful for His timing and His plan.

We tried over two years to get pregnant, and had about given up when you came along – our Princess. And after you were born, we knew we wanted you to have a sibling to grow with and play with and fight with and love. We lost one, then another, and we grieved. But God had a plan. He had for us – you – our Prince. We are far from perfect, but we are your parents, and God has placed all of us together in this family. So there will be no apologies for what brand of diapers you wore or didn’t wear, for what percentage of your clothes were new or hand-me-down, for what percentage of your toys had been used before, or how much one-on-one time you got or didn’t get in your first six months.

Because no matter what anyone says, you are stronger together. You are made for each other. You are blessed. And you are LOVED. This perfectly imperfect set of parents that God has given you loves BOTH of you with every fibre of our beings, and that will NEVER change, and doesn’t matter who was born first or second. So no apologies. None. Just love. And remember that when you are parents, too, ok?

We love you. 150% of our hearts. Always.

Love,
Mommy

This letter was sent to both of their email accounts – that were created for them before they were born. I occasionally send them little notes – some separately, some to both of them at the same time. If you have kids, setting up an email account for them is a fabulous way to write letters to them… and then give them the address and password at whatever age you feel it’s appropriate. 🙂

‘Tis Only a Season

My life seems to be full of cliches… “Seize the day,” “don’t forget to stop and smell the roses,” “life’s what you make it,” “nobody’s perfect,” and “let it go,” seem to be the themes lately. The other night Cody and I had a convo about this season of our lives. And how short 18 (or 20 in our case) years of having kids at home will really be. Just a blip on the radar. So right now, it’s ok to be in survival mode. Because we probably will be for the next 17 1/2 years, and then we can figure out life for that season.

Tis only a season where I’ll wake up to a crying baby at 2:15 because my lil boy has bonked his head on his crib and woke himself up. (And subsequently after the diaper change, bottle feed, and rocking, be unable to go back to sleep and decide to write this entire post on my phone…)

Tis only a season where I live with wet spots, ketchup stains, and random stickiness all over my clothes (and occasionally in my hair), and then wonder when was the last time I had time for a shower. (Seriously, ya’ll some days, I just double the deoderant bc I’m not sure- was that last night or the night before?)

Tis only a season where in the middle of talking to a client on the phone I’ll hear a loud thud (as Becca drops her Little People house off the end of her bed), and then “A,B,C…” Sung at the top of her little lungs.

Tis only a season where the mountains of clean laundry overtake the living room, cover the stairs, and invade the empty cedar chest.

Tis only a season where the cabinets get a virus and throw up everything they hold into the sink… Daily. (Thanks for that visual, mom!)

Tis only a season where half the grocery budget each week is spent on diapers big and small, nighttime diapers for the big, diaper disposal bags, and diaper cremes. Not to mention the formula that ends up in those diapers…

Tis only a season for “I don’t want hot dogs,” and “Mommy, can I have hot dogs, pwease?” (All spoken in the same forty second interval…)

Tis only a season for giggles, snuggles, and wiggles.

Tis only a season for tiny smiles, little squeals that pierce the quiet air, and little fingers that reach out to hold mine.

Tis only a season that Elmo and Abby, Peep, Quack, and Chirp, Daniel, Peg, Jake, Doc, Sophia, the Lil Einsteins, and the Super Readers will be part of our daily friends repetoire.

Tis only a season. All too soon our baby boy will be crawling. Then walking. Then running to chase his sister who will soon be figuring out if she wants to do sports, or pursue gymnastics, or maybe join an art club. Which will turn into more extracurriculars and a season of driving and becoming one of those moms who basically lives out of the car from one carpool line to the next. But twill only be a season.

“So I will dance, with Cinderella. I don’t wanna miss even one song. ‘Cause I know something the Prince never knew…. ‘Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight, and she’ll. be. Gone.” (Excerpt from Steven Curtis Chapman’s song, “Cinderella”- see below for complete lyrics.)

It’s just a season. So I must strive to be the very best Mommy I can be, in this season while I’m still “Mommy.” Because all too soon, that clock is gonna strike midnight, and I’ll. be. “Mom.”

Full song lyrics:
Cinderella – Steven Curtis Chapman

She spins and she sways to whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I’m sitting here wearing the weight of the world on my shoulders
It’s been a long day and there’s still work to do
She’s pulling at me saying “Dad I need you!
There’s a ball at the castle and I’ve been invited
and I need to practice my dancin’
Oh please, Daddy, please!”

[Chorus:]
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
‘Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don’t want to miss even one song
‘Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she’ll be gone

[Verse 2:]
She says he’s a nice guy and I’d be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, “Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancin’
Oh please, Daddy, please!”

[Chorus:]
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
‘Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don’t want to miss even one song
‘Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she’ll be gone

She will be gone

[Verse 3:]
But she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, “Dad, the wedding’s still six months away but I need to practice my dancin’
Oh please, Daddy, please!”

Goodnight, world… Less than two hours til the alarm goes off and I have to get up so I can make it to the grocery store when they open at 6 so I can shop kid-free… Tis only a season.

Wacky Wednesday

Oh this girl. I love her so.

Saw on the video monitor – she was making her car shoot up “Up up to the moon and leave gravity behind! Bye bye gravity! Bye bye Earf!” Seriously. Where does she get this stuff?!? So later, I asked her later why she was flying her car to the moon and she said, “It doesn’t rain on the moon. But we leave gravity behind. Bye bye gravity. I take the spider wif me. Cuz it doesn’t rain.” (The its bitsy spider book was open on the bed.)
“Where’s Daddy went?” This girl is ALWAYS looking for Daddy. I reply, “Daddy’s at work.” “Oh. He come home soon and see Becca Boo.” Yup. That’s the plan!
Cody’s parents visited this past weekend. His mom came first, and his dad came later. After she woke from her nap, he was here. “Pappy is here? Where is he?” Me: “He’s in the shop with Daddy.” Becca: “Oh! They to-geyer in the shop. We go say hi to them, Mommy! Less go! I need new diaper firs.” I love how she talks. And I love how excited she gets to see people. And I love it when she’s actually willing to get her diaper changed… someday, before college, she’ll be potty trained. I’m sure. I hope.
At the Trader’s Village: “Can we ride the horses? PLEAAAASSSEEEE?” She LOVED the carousel. And, she has re-defined begging with the world’s longest “please” and pleading eyes. It works.
Recalling the Native American dancers after the fact: “They play a big dwum, Mommy. It was loud.” and “They danced ‘round and ‘round but they not fall down.” Apparently they are Weebles.
Said to her Daddy when we were at the bridal fair, and his dad headed out: “Pappy goes down the driveway to see Mommy and Mamie. I miss him.” I love her heart.

At the Native American dancing event at Trader’s Village.
Left – she watched SO intently. Especially the jingle dancers.
Center – She enjoyed sitting with Mamie and Pappy part of the time, and had to tell him all about what he missed when he went to get a snack.
Right – Since we didn’t know what to really expect, I had Grayson in the Lillebaby, and just took the umbrella stroller for Boo. She decided to take George for a ride part of the time, and pushed him almost the entire width of the place. It was super cute… but also SUPER SLOW. Bless Cody’s heart for walking with her.