Faith – Page 3 – Butterbees and Bumbleflies

Thankfulness and Thanksgiving

thankfulness-header

My favorite holiday as a kid growing up wasn’t Christmas. Maybe that makes me an odd kid. But for me, it was always Thanksgiving. The traditions our family had were precious to me, and that ritual was something I came to love, and to long for. To this day, I don’t even have to close my eyes to be transported back to Grandma’s kitchen the morning of Thanksgiving. It was the same every year. Year after year, after year.

It’s those memories that make me want to establish special traditions with our own kids related to Thanksgiving. Not just about Thanksgiving itself, but about thankfulness. Thats why when my friend Ashley wrote this post about creating a super cute little fall prayer journal, I jumped on the idea and decided to make a similar one using Becca’s handwriting journals and turn it into a Thankfulness Journal. (Step by step directions on how I made mine can be found at the bottom of this post.)

I think something kids today really struggle with is entitlement. With very little to no effort on their parts, stuff just shows up. And I started realizing recently that our kids have no idea what they have. They have no idea what half of this city doesn’t have… and that’s where my idea for the Thankfulness Journal was born. Each day of November, Becca will sit down and think about one THING (NOT a person!) she is thankful for. She can draw a picture, and we’ll work together on sounding out the words, and writing what she is thankful for. This is a great activity for your kids to work on handwriting, spelling, and phonics! In the back half of the journal, we will talk about our family traditions (not just from Thanksgiving) we are thankful for and write and illustrate those, as well. And to keep myself on the right mental path, I’ve downloaded Ashley’s grown up version of a Thankfulness Journal, which you can get free here!

Another activity we’ll do before Thanksgiving to talk about thankfulness is thinking about all the foods that we eat – not just at Thanksgiving, but also other times. I will give her food magazines to cut pictures from (fine motor practice!) and she can glue them onto poster paper and work on writing labels for the foods she finds. I will also challenge her to pick foods that she doesn’t like, that she knows other family members DO like. Maybe she’ll find a picture of scrambled eggs. Or a picture of bacon. Or a picture of (Heaven forbid!) broccoli. I want to encourage her to think about others, and what our preferences are. This is a great way to think outside the box… and stop the spread of selfishness!! She also needs practice thinking about balanced meals, so she can use the pictures to make posters of balanced meals… and pick a few of the foods she’d like to try someday! (Hey, this Mommy can dream, right??)

Fall is a fabulous time to get outside and remember the beauty that God has blessed us with on this Earth. Maybe it’s something as simple as a seed collecting and sorting activity. Or maybe it’s getting out and doing a photo challenge in nature to find certain small creatures or plants – then print those pictures and place them into a little journal that your child can look back at to remember to thank God for the little things in nature that He has placed in our lives to remind us of his majesty. Even if you don’t think there is much to explore in your front yard, you’d be amazed what you can find when you get down on all fours and pretend you are a beetle!

I would challenge you to have your children write thank you notes to their friends who give them treats for Halloween. Encourage them to list out not just what the friend gave, but WHY they are thankful that child is their friend. “I love it that you make me laugh.” “I like how you help me when I can’t tie my shoe.” “Thank you for always smiling at me and helping me be happy when I’m sad.” Even if your kids are used to writing thank you notes, I bet they are probably used to saying “thanks for the _xyz toy_.” And that’s it. Mix it up this November. Get them thinking about WHY they are thankful for that friendship they have. Let them use fun stickers and special pens or markers to make those friends feel really special, and to add some fun to what can seem very serious for your kids.

Now is the perfect time to plan what activities you’re going to do this November – to not let Thanksgiving get lost in the shuffle between Halloween and Christmas. It’s a great time to think about what new family traditions you want to start, and to really center your own mind on thankfulness. We often focus so much on the costumes we’ll wear and the gifts that we’ll buy, or even on the turkey we’ll cook… that the actual purpose of giving thanks is lost. Hopefully these ideas will help everyone in your family remember to be thankful for the objects, foods, nature, and people around them, because Thanksgiving is so much more than just a day we eat a lot of food and hang out with family to watch a parade and some football. This year, focus on the things and the people they are thankful for, and WHY they are thankful for them. Let’s raise a generation that isn’t the ME generation, but the YOU generation… the THANK YOU generation.
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Make your own Thankfulness Journal!

Check out how Ashley made hers here.

I don’t have any Modge Podge, and wanted to cover the book entirely… so I took 4 sheets of scrapbook paper and here’s what I came up with! You can do the same in just about 5 minutes!

supply-list

paper journal

I also cut pieces to cover the insides so that the print on the front cover was not distracting. You wouldn’t have to do that – in which case, you would only need 2 sheets of 12×12 paper. front-cover-of-journal

There are more posts in this series! Check them out here:

Saying Thank You with a Handmade Card

Thankfulness and Thanksgiving – For Your Toddler

Writing About Thankfulness

Lessons from the Ironing Board

It’s been a while since I’ve had a new post. I have lots to share, but very little time to share it in… can I get an amen?! But yesterday I had some realizations that are so worth sharing that I’m starting writing before 6am! Yup. That kind of good. At least, I hope that they impact you the way they did me.

ironing board

So I’m standing there yesterday, in my least favorite place (esp in the summertime) … at the ironing board. I had Klove going on my phone in an effort to keep a positive attitude about my task. But, as it will, my mind began to wander.

I started thinking about this friend of mine whose husband is a blue collar, commission based worker. I was thinking about the times when she has mentioned that times are tough (though she isn’t a complainer, don’t get me wrong!!), and I was thinking, “at least SHE doesn’t have to iron her husband’s work shirts all the time!” Wow. Seriously ya’ll, that thought came to me. And then God put that thought to work. From there, I realized how thankful I should be for ironing those work shirts – because I don’t ever have to worry about how much Cody’s next pay check will be. It is always the same, always consistent, always there to pay the bills. No fear. Wow. We’re really blessed.

And then my mind began to wander to our other blessings – from the clothes, to the Starbucks coffee sitting on the windowsill, to the view out my window looking out over our land, and finally, to the iron and ironing board itself. I began to think about the woman who made the shirt I was ironing. (Hypothetically, of course, since I have no idea where the shirt was made or by whom.) This woman – so thankful for a job to bring in money for her family, to feed her children. How much money did she make when she made his shirt? How much money did it take to pay the bills? How many shirts would she have to make to come close to paying even one of them? How old is she? Does she have a family at 14, or is she old and frail and still having to work?

Yup, ya’ll, my mind was going deep. Have you ever let your mind wander and sort of subconsciously said “ok God just take me wherever…”? Sometimes it’ll take you scary good places. Yesterday, through this mind wandering, I began to realize/remember that God puts each of us where He wants us – for a reason. And while the grass may sometimes seem greener on the other side, we only have to look for a moment at the side we are on to start seeing the millions of wildflowers surrounding us. They aren’t weeds needing to be pulled, they are tiny blessings that God has planted in our path to bless us!

Do I magically like ironing now? No. Am I looking forward to doing more ironing today? Nope. Do I like pulling weeds? No. Do I look forward to pulling the weeds invading my flower beds? Nope. But every. single. chore is because of a blessing, and I need only look beyond my own physical discomfort to start seeing that blessing. What are you complaining about today? And how can you change your view?

Just like my friend should be happy she doesn’t have to iron her husband’s work shirts, I should be thankful for consistency. Just like I should be happy we can afford the clothes, the shirt maker should be happy that her job to make them provides for her family, however meager. Finding joy where I’ve been planted is sometimes difficult. When the rain and the clouds and the wild, crazy children threaten to take over my thoughts, I need only to stop and realize that the rain is a blessing. The children certainly are blessings. And all I really need to do is shift my perspective.

How do you need a perspective shift today? I would love to have you comment and let me know on what things you struggle with your perspective, so I can pray for you.

Blog posts coming soon: Back to School, Sensory Learning for Toddlers, and Lessons from a Volcano!

A Little Bit… of Everything

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Whew. Ya’ll, contrary to popular belief, I have not fallen off the face of the planet. I have not blasted into outer space (though my kids HAVE sent me into orbit more than a few times lately). I have not tunneled my way to China (though I have considered digging a hole and sticking my head in it – ostriches don’t pay attention to politics!). Nope. I’m still here. It’s just been crazy around here. The words for it might more likely be busy, insane, freakish, out of the ordinary… And yet, through it all, we have been blessed.

My best friend was in the hospital 25 days. Her sweet daughter who is 13 has been living with us. In that last 25 days, we moved Grayson into his big boy room upstairs, partially set up the guest room back downstairs in what was the nursery (the rest of it is still in my balcony taunting me every time I sit at the bar or on the couch and look up), climbed Mt. Laundry more times than I can count, surfed the waves of dishes in the sink (again, more times than I can count), drove to visit my parents for four days to do a million and one fun things together, and drove across the worlds largest city (ok, I realize this is an exaggeration) practically every day we were in town to make hospital visits (and once, we even did it twice in one day!). I’ve been prepping for back to homeschool, running my organization training on Facebook, I’m attempting to start a new workout routine (Beachbody PiYo with a friend, Kelly, coaching me!), oh, and did I mention I’m guzzling coffee like, well, like a Starbucks addict?

Yeah, it’s been crazy. But wow. We are SO blessed! We have a home where each of our kids (including our adopted niece who is currently living with us) has their own personal space. We have clothes to wear and dishes to eat off. We have pets to snuggle with and parents/grandparents who love us and planned super fun stuff for us to do on our trip. We have a very reliable vehicle who gets us where we need to go safely, and with some pretty great gas mileage. We are blessed.

tulsa collage

And in it all, I am blessed with so many amazing friends who have been encouraging every step of the way. Every time I walk into Gray’s room, I am reminded of the sweet friends I have from PWAT who came and spent a few hours with me to make his room simply stunning. He is a very blessed little boy. He has a beautiful mural to look at on his wall every day, and he has these women in his life who care enough about him to go out of their way and give up an entire day to do this for him.

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finished details

finished room

I have friends who have been praying for us multiple times daily. That’s support that I can’t say thank you enough for. I have friends who have simply been there to listen to my crazy stressed out self as I have vented about whatever the day’s stress is at the time. I have friends on social media that I’ve never met in person who have stepped in and accepted the challenge to trust me as I teach them to organize their homes for homeschool. My “adopted niece” is an amazing help with the kids, household chores, and just generally fun to hang out with. I love her as if she was my own daughter, and our bond has gotten so strong through all of this. We. Are. So. Very. Amazingly. Blessed.

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The heart of a servant is not one that is easily and readily available. It is one that has to be earned through hard work and tribulation. And yet, it is what I have been praying for. My grandmother was a servant. Through her passing back in February, I was reminded of how I always admired her willingness to put everyone else first. Sometimes she did it so much that it became an issue of her not being able to think or act for herself. I want to be an emotionally independent woman. But I also want to be a woman who is willing to step aside and let God take the glory and do whatever work He has for me. These last 25 days I have grown in ways I never thought possible. I desperately pray daily for my friend to be healed. More than once we have been given her release date only for something to come up and she has to stay in the hospital. Then, yesterday she got to come home. Only to have to go back today due to breathing problems. I want to scream at God and ask Him why on Earth He would put her through this physically, and why He would put us, her family, through this emotionally. WHY?

Why? Because. Sometimes He needs to hedge us in with thorns as He did the children of Israel in the book of Hosea. Because when He hedges us in with thorns, we are reminded of He who is in charge. We are reminded of His power. And we are struck by the awe of Him. We are forced to focus on the blessings because the stress is just too much to look in the eye. So why? Because God. Because He has blessed us. Beyond compare. And it’s taken all of this for me to realize it and fully appreciate it. And because it’s His way of teaching me how to become that servant that I strive to be. It’s not about being a Martha who daily is climbing Mt. Laundry and surfing the waves of dishes. It’s about being a Mary and stopping in the midst of the chaos to sit at His feet and see His glory all around me. It’s about seeing the beauty and not missing the moments of laughter.

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The Best Defense is a Good Offense…

All of life is about growing and changing. Even as adults. Maybe especially as adults. The more experiences we encounter, the more we realize the need for change. Obviously, we could float along at the status quo, but would we ever truly be happy or see success if we did that? No, of course not. As a parent, I feel like I’m constantly pulled between the needs of my children and the wants of my own selfishness. And there’s no way around that – we are as humans selfish beings. We have the opportunity to lay aside our selfishness to serve others, but we often don’t chose to… or at least find that process difficult. Call it my humanity, but giving up what I want for my kids is just crazy. And yet, it happens. Day after day. Because God puts within a parent a heart of service. Whether we want it or not, we have this amazing desire to do whatever it takes to help our children succeed. To the point that we often forget who we were before they came along, and lose track of our interests and hobbies for the sake of becoming merely “Becca and Grayson’s Mom.” As a mom, we give and give and give. All day long. Our pitcher constantly gets poured out to water these little beings we are raising. So what are we doing to refill the pitcher?

I think so often we as moms get so wrapped up in our kids and their needs that we forget about ourselves. When this happens, our pitcher of water starts to dry up. And when the pitcher is empty, how can we pour anything else out to help our kids? We feel tired, dry, depressed, frustrated, and yes, even angry. Anybody with me on this? I bet you are. Because I know that I’m not the only mom who has ever felt the weight of the final straw. I know I’m not the only mom with regrets. Those “oh how I wish I hadn’t said that” moments. And when those moments start turning into frequent events because your pitcher of water is constantly dry and you just don’t have anything else to give to your kids, it’s easy to start feeling hopeless and helpless – and stuck. Like there is no other way to live but with a dry pitcher and feeling anger and depression pressing in on all sides – like you are some sort of human waffle being burned on all sides and formed into a shape that you don’t want to be.

Ya’ll, I’m here to tell you – IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!!! I recently took a class on how to combat mommy anger, and the biggest thing I pulled from it (other than the concept of GRACE, which I’ll mention later) is that we as moms need both offensive AND defensive strategies to help combat our anger. So I wanted to share some of mine with you to maybe give you some ideas.. and I also wanted to encourage each of you to take the time to go through this seven day course. It really will change the way you interact with your kids!

Offensive ideas:
-Take the time to tidy that one area that you’ve been putting off for whatever reason… because just walking by that area has been adding to your stress unknowingly. It’s amazing how just FINALLY tidying up our mudroom has reduced the anger in my life! I never realized that that out of the way place was causing my anger meter to start higher with the kids. (You’ll learn all about your anger meter and your personal triggers when you take the course!) But now, when I walk through there, I’m not constantly thinking “oh I’ll get to that someday.” Because day after day of thinking that builds up to a LOT of stress. Ya’ll, when I cleaned it out, I found the Easter egg hunt plastic eggs from LAST Easter. I found a Christmas present that was supposed to be exchanged. I found shoes that haven’t fit the kids in over a year. I found last summer’s half empty bottle of sunscreen. It had been building for a LONG time. I also found those library books that we (yes, even still) need to return…

-Find a comforting scent for your home. Whether you are into candles or Scentsy or DoTerra or YoungLiving or any other such thing, it doesn’t matter. Having a scent in your home that refreshes you is just such an incredible and powerful thing. It might also help your kids! You might talk to them about what scents they like and let them have some input. It could be that you’re already using a scent that puts THEM on edge and you don’t even realize it!

-Plan to have ME TIME every day. I prefer to have mine first thing in the morning before the kids get up, with my quiet time. (I love Hello Mornings – you should check it out!) It’s amazing how committing that time to begin the day with me and God has made me start out refreshed. Instead of crawling out of bed depressed and dragging about all the chores I have to do, I start my day by greeting the Son and watching the sunrise! Nothing better.

Do these offensive strategies fix it all? No. Because as Alicia says in her course, anger isn’t going away. And my main triggers are my kids and their behaviors and words. So that’s where those defensive strategies come in (which really, they can be offensive too… you’ll see why)!!

Defensive ideas:
-Adult coloring is the latest and greatest craze. And ya’ll, I have fallen into it hook line and sinker. It is WONDERFUL! When I am upset with child behavior, I can say “ok – we BOTH need to take a time out. I’m going to choose to color while I take my time out to calm down.” Sometimes I allow Becca to sit on her car rug and play ALONE with the cars. It calms her just like coloring calms me. (note: coloring is a very active process for her that excites her and also causes stress. But when she is upset and playing with cars, she either sits or lays on her tummy on the rug, rubs the rug with the palm of one hand, and drives the cars repetitively back and forth on the same spot. This gives her the sensory input she needs to calm her down incredibly. Obviously, for many kids, coloring would be calming as well, and playing cars might be too much excitement. Know your kid!) Offensively, I love to color in the evenings after a long day to de-stress so that I sleep better, which thus starts me off on a more well-rested day the next day.

-Food is an addiction for many Americans. It’s why so many of us are obese. Alcohol is also a very dangerous addiction. I have found that I used to defensive eat before I started the Best Body Countdown back in January. (Read about my weight loss journey here.) Thankfully I’ve never defensively drank. But, I have discovered that coffee is a very benign addiction that calms me considerably. On days when I’m just frustrated out of my mind with the kids and my anger is about ready to bubble out of the pot, I make a pot – of coffee. The world can swirl and spin out of control around me, but that moment of standing at the coffee pot and sipping the first sweet sips of hot relief are freeing. It’s a moment that I can close my eyes and just escape.

-Another way that I have found to escape and calm myself down is to duck into the pantry and read the daily verse from my morning Bible study again and say a quick prayer. Like literally taking two minutes (sometimes less) to run away and hide. Offensively, I figured out that I was regularly ducking out around 4:00 each afternoon, so I set an alarm on my phone that goes off daily at 3:45 to remind me to go ahead and step out and reset my mind before it becomes a defensive need. I also love using that quick moment away to look up the verse on my YouVersion app and make a photographic reminder of the verse using their easy photo/verse maker.

Obviously, I have discovered these things over time, and they are what works for me. They might not work for you, or you might need to modify. I HIGHLY recommend that if you are struggling with anger, or even extreme frustration, that you take the course and come up with your own combative strategies. (I’d love it if you’d share them in the comments below!!) You’ll also learn how to approach your emotions, how to voice them, how to offer yourself grace, and so much more. Don’t think that offensive and defensive strategies are all the pieces to the puzzle… you’ll have to take the course to get the rest of them. 😉 (Yup, I’m an affiliate, so your purchase helps out our family, as well as yours!!!)

Click on any of the text links, or click the photo below to learn more!

This is What Love Feels Like

What Love Feels Likesm

God has this amazing way of teaching me a lesson in about twenty different ways, all while I’m totally unaware… and then suddenly all the loose ends come together in a giant crescendo and my light bulb goes on. That has happened to me this week. The giant crescendo. I’d like to say that this time I saw it coming, but nope. Once again, He pulled out all the stops for this surprise.

It wasn’t long ago I started realizing that what used to be a mild level of frustration (mainly with the kids, but some also with the house and work) was actually a gurgling pot I’d left on the back burner too long that was about to boil over…or worse yet, scorch. And we all know that smell when the potatoes have scorched? Well, yeah, I got to that point. The potatoes started to scorch, ya’ll. And I didn’t realize soon enough that the pot was boiling… until I finally realized how much my attitude stunk. Especially toward my kiddos.

I’ve mentioned in lots of previous posts that it is HARD to be Becca’s mom. But lately several Bible studies have all been pointing me to God’s perfect love – the kind of love I’m supposed to be showing her. Something about spending those last days with my Grandma before she passed, and really bragging to her about Becca and her love of the Lord and reading her Bible and how kind her heart is… it’s really sunk in. She really IS an amazing child with a wonderful heart. Something about reviewing in my mind the selflessness that my Grandma always displayed, and her servant heart… the kind of attitude I want to be displaying to my family… all these things have been working in my mind.

Last Thursday night, I went to the TobyMac concert. And he explained the back story behind one of my favorite songs, “Love Feels Like.” It’s all about the love and service and dedication it takes to care for an ailing parent. It took me back to my Grandma that last week of her life. It reminded me of seeing my mom and the love and care she showed to my grandparents when they needed her so desperately in the end. Of how stretched to the end of her limits she was, and yet she kept on giving – because they needed her. And it reminded me that love and BEING love to someone isn’t always easy. In fact, REAL love is pretty dang difficult. Like send your Son to die on a cross difficult. (Fittingly all of this realization happens right after Easter, too… definitely not a coincidence – just another sign of His great hand in everything.)

Then, another “loose end” God presented me with recently was the opportunity to pre-view a friend’s 7-day online video course on controlling mommy anger. I jumped at the opportunity to participate. Why not? I had realized I have this anger pot boiling, scorching even – what perfect timing! (Coincidence? I think not!) So I dove in. And by the time I had finished the worksheets, God had finally slapped me with His big crescendo. All the loose ends came together in one marvelous revelation of His great GRACE.

Alicia makes a fabulous point right off in her 7-day course. She tells us that anger isn’t going away. It’s an emotion. It’s going to happen. But I discovered through her course that by sitting down and taking time to think about the triggers that really bother me, and starting to be more mindful of WHY those triggers affect me and ways that I can combat them in the future, I can start to control that anger instead of letting it control me! I have now worked through a LOT of feelings and emotions without ever having to go pay a shrink to make me feel crazy! (Thank you, Alicia Michelle!!!) But seriously, ya’ll! Now that I think about the points she makes, they seem so common sense. But I was in so deep. My pot of potatoes had been boiling on that back burner for a LONG time. The scorching was deep. The stank in the house was BAD. But ya’ll. God’s GRACE. My pot is stainless steal. And God has wiped it clean. No scrubbing required. The stank is gone. PEACE is possible. The pot is reusable.

And here’s the really amazing thing that this course helped me to realize. Anger isn’t going away. But ya’ll. When my potatoes scorch again? God’s going to be right there to wipe my pot clean again. I’ve learned so many strategies to help combat the anger, and I’m working with Becca too, on how she can control her anger and verbalize her feelings. I’m learning to show grace to Becca, too. Because she’s human just like I am. She’s going to make the same mistakes over and over and over again. Doesn’t mean that I love her any less. Just like Toby’s song says, she could stretch me out like canvas, but I’m never going to fit in the frame. I refuse to conform and allow her behavior to control mine.

7 days to less angry mom

I have a little poster I made and hung in her bathroom for her that I’m starting to think I need to hang all over the house. It says “Feelings are Indicators, NOT Dictators.” It’s so true, ya’ll. My anger isn’t going away. But I need to deal with it, not let IT deal with me. I now have both offensive and defensive strategies for dealing with her behavior as well as my other anger triggers, and I’m already starting to see success!

I’m telling you what. If you have ever felt like your pot is sitting back there about ready to boil over or scorch and you just don’t know what to do about it, Alicia has some really awesome tips and some fabulous encouraging Bible verses to share with you, and I really hope that you will check out this course. Obviously, I’m an affiliate and I’d love for you to buy the course because it helps me out, too. But ya’ll. I want you to do this for YOU, not for me. It really WILL change the way you look at anger, and the way you look at loving your kids. Because real love is hard. Being a mom is HARD. It stretches us out to the ends of our limits. But LOVE, real LOVE is such a full feeling even when we are totally empty and beyond our own strength. Don’t let your anger keep you from feeling that full, satisfying feeling of a heart of love.

love feels like